Talkin' Toddlers

H. is a toddler. Which is sad. But he talks. Which is hilarious! He knows a lot of words, so he can answer questions, which is great when he really wants something. So, if you ask a question, he will answer "yeah" or "no-no" (always 2 nos. Always). But he also says some words (not very many, but enough). As is common with his age (16 months) he vastly generalizes things. Like food. It's either "cacas" (crackers), for toast and chips and cookies and bread... or "appa" (apples), for anything fruit related. Whenever we go anywhere, he points out cars ("a cah"). And anything bigger than a car is a bus ("a bah"). Trucks, trains, SUV's... all busses. Also, any brown animal is a cow. Anything. Horses, giraffes, a dog. Complete with moos and everything. He loves animals, and knows what most animals say (cows go "moo", sheep "baa", kitties say "oww", monkeys say "oo-oo"), and can for the most part point them out. I love that he is growing up, and becoming a cute little person. And I love that he picks up on things. I love that the word snuggle ("nuggo") is in his vocabulary, and I love that he uses it all the time. I just love that cute little boy more and more every day.

Reflections in Mommyhood

I just watched an amazing video called Reflections in Motherhood (here), and it really got me thinking, if I could go back 2 years, to right before I had H., what would I tell myself? Well, I have been thinking, and I think these are a few things every mommy, new or seasoned, needs to remember:

• it's ok to need a break. It means you're not superwoman, and know where your line is.


• It's ok to want to leave Baby at home... and to be ok leaving Baby at home


• But it's also ok to be a mess the first time you leave Baby at home.


• Sometimes you'll cry, and sometimes you'll scream, and sometimes you'll stand in the shower and let Baby cry or scream in their crib. You're not made of steel.


• Once and a while, you will have a moment that seems benign and ordinary, but the beauty of it will knock you off your feet.


• It's alright to want to sleep through a feeding. Better if you don't, but know that all mommys want to at some point.


• Your child will always be the smartest, and before their first birthday you will already have speculated a dozen times about their future career.


• It's ok to meet new mommys and vent about being a new mommy. It's also ok to nicely compare your babies with each others.


• Sometimes you will let Baby cry. As much as you read otherwise, letting them do so will not make them an ax-murderer in adulthood.


• Everyone has an opinion. Everyone also has opinions on everyone elses opinion. Do what works for you, and what works for Baby, and everything will be fine.


• It's ok to be scared. It's a scary thing, being put in charge of this tiny little person, knowing you get to teach them about the world, and everything in it.


• Embrace the silliness. You will sit on the floor and make the silliest noises, and let your toddler crawl all over you, because you know it makes them laugh, and even after years together, their laughter is still the best sound in the world.

Every baby is different, and every mommy is different. Do what works for you, and know that there are a million women going through the same thing at any given time.

And best of all, enjoy that amazing little person God created just for you!

Sick little Bear :(

H. is sick. Incredibly so. It is so hard to watch him and know he is not himself, and probably pretty uncomfortable, and know I can't do anything to make him feel better.

For the last month or so, he has just been off. I ended up taking him to a walk-in clinic, where the doctor told me he had an ear infection. Ok, so Amoxilin, and a week later he was fine. We went for his 12 month immunizations (at 15 months, because I'm really good), and the doctor gave an all clear, and said his ears were good.

About a week later, the grumpy H. was back. But worse. He had a fever constantly for just over 2 days when we went back to the doctors' to see what was up. The nurse that saw him was not very friendly, to start things off, and H. had been there a little over a week before to get shots (which I'm sure he must have remembered). All this chalking up to a very uncooperative H.

He wouldn't let them take his temperature (she tried to tell me he didn't have a fever... to which I replied "touch him, feel how hot he is, and try and tell me he doesn't have a fever?"), he screamed when she tried to listen to his breathing, and tried to bite the tongue depressor when she tried to look in his throat. She then spent about 10 seconds looking in his ears, and decided both of them looked "a little pink", and were therefore just infected.

But that didn't seem right to me, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I mean, it's not like he had an ear infection less than 2 weeks before, right?

So, we tried the Amoxilin again, and it worked... for about 6 days of the 10 day prescription.

As of right now, for the past week, H. had been up almost the entire night with a horrible fever (he managed to let me check it a few times, and it was usually around 101.5). So, neither of us are sleeping, he is hot and uncomfortable at night, but completely fine during the day, and I feel like I am about to lose my mind.

Well, I can't take it anymore. We had a follow-up appointment for his ears tomorrow, but I called this morning to see if we could move it up to today, which, thankfully, they could. So, hopefully in a few hours we'll have a real diagnoses, and I can get my sweet little Bear back.

Hoping for the best!

Scrapbooking woes...

Ok, so here's the deal. I am not creative. At all. Anyone who knows me at all will tell you that... but the thing is, I really want to be good at artsy stuff!

Hence the scrapbook I started when H. was, oh, about 3 weeks old.

I have 4 pages. And not even good pages.

They are plain. Which I guess could be said captures the essence of me, sort of. I really wish I could do more. I wish I could do better.

But it makes a good story, I think.

Oh, the Wiggles

H. loves them. I am starting to love them. I have my favourite Wiggle, and my favourite song.

And then I decided that is terribly sad, and we needed some new movies.

And now we get to be regaled with Thomas the Tank Engine, Sesame Street, and Mighty Machines.

I can't wait until I can watch Disney Pixel movies with him!

Toddling Toddler

Well, I no longer have a baby. I have a walking, talking toddler.

Yes, H. is up and fully mobile. Sad day in my house.

Well, sort of.

He just gets cuter every day! I swear, he also must learn something new every day as well.

He is learning his farm animals, to my delight. He's so funny with them. He knows a cow says "moo", as well as, in his world, a horse, a giraffe, and a truck (?). He knows a sheep says "baa", and a kitty in his world says "ow", which is close enough to be right, and far enough away to be adorable!

The best part about him walking, though? I don't have to carry him everywhere.

We went to a museum yesterday, with a large segregated childrens museum, and it was so nice to let him walk around and let him explore on his own... even if he did go up and down the ramp on the shipping boat about, oh, 30 times. I think he had more fun too, than if he was just being carried to wherever I wanted to go, or see what I wanted him to see.

But I am learning that he picks up the craziest things. Like, we have a toy vaccuum, and I once watched him pick it up, and stand in one spot and push it back and forth... let's be honest, he didn't learn that from me! We have hardwood, and I don't even know if we have a real vaccuum!

Also, he knows how to use rollers to paint walls? We were at the children's museum, and there is a part about building, or something, and there are rollers, with paint trays (empty, of course) so kids can pretend to paint. Well, wouldn't you know, my kid did! Just moseyed on over and pick it right up, and straight to the wall with it! So smart! Funny, the last time I remember painting was a good 8 months ago? He was about 6 months old? And he remembers... or he saw someone else paint.

In any case, my little boy is a genius!

I know I say this a lot, but he gets cuter every day!

What would be easier...

I'm a single mom. But on top of that, I am also a full time student, and a 25 hour a week employee. It's hard, but I am managing.

Which would be fine, except for one thing. The Father. H.'s, that is.

Up until now, I am pretty sure I have not mentioned him. Actually, about 99% sure.

He's not part of the picture... well, he's kind of one of those weird orb things that lurks in the background of the picture. It was all a mistake. The relationship was not a healthy one for either of us, and even being pregnant and 19, I knew I needed him out of my life.

But he's back, and non of us are happy about it.

Which leads me to wonder... would it be easier without him, even if it meant H. grew up without a father? Even if it meant I have to teach him to throw a ball? (Which anyone who knows me will say is a BAD idea!)

I'm wondering... I'm already at the breaking down at work stage, at the losing sleep and eating junk food phase. Do I need ANOTHER worry on my plate?

I don't think so. I'm a good juggler, but The Father demands the utmost attention. Attention I can't give.

Everyone says single parenting is hard, but no one tells you that deciding who should be a part of your child's life is excruciating.

Someone's going to get hurt, and I really can't let that person be H.