An illuminating look at my faults as a mommy...

I am not Supermom. I wouldn't even say I am a great mom... I'm me, and I'm doing things my way. The one thing I am most proud of is the fact that I am surviving, and how happy my little boy is. That's all that matters to me, and that is why I am ok writing this.

I have many faults. Like, a lot. Not even mommy faults, but human faults. Which is pretty common, I hear, but I think admitting it is part of helping make it better... So, here it goes!

I co-sleep: It started when he was born, and has pretty much been happening all the time since then. I know I joke a lot, but I am completely serious about this. There was a span of about 6 months where he slept in his crib... the rest of the time he is in my bed. I admit, he starts in his crib (99% of nights), and some nights he doesn't end up in my bed, but about 90% of the time, he is in my bed when I wake up.

I don't spend a lot of time with him: I admit, part of it is just plain busy-ness, trying to make a batter life for us... but part of it is also trying to get out without him. Horrible, I know, but I am not a stay-at-home kind of person. And I do need some adult conversation that is not about kids sometimes.

I am not overly comforting: I am not. At all. It's probably not even on the top 100 words to describe me. Why I thought I could be a good mommy without being comforting is beyond me, but I did... and I was wrong. When H. cries (which is not very often, I'll admit) I often find myself saying "Bear, you're fine". Which is awful, but it's true... he is usually fine.

I get frustrated: A word commonly used to describe me is impatient. Very impatient. That being said, when H. wants to walk everywhere, even though I am probably already late, and I know he will want to talk to the kitty in the park, and stick his feet in the snowbank every 2 feet, I will let him. But when I am trying to do something and he gets cranky or clingy, I get very short with him.

I eat crappy, and let H. eat crappy too: We are not overly healthy people. I (and now we) love to snack, and not in a healthy way. I (and now we) love chips and crackers and crunchy salty things. And fast food. Ooops.

I talk about my kid... a lot: Which I know is not a particularly bad thing, but I'm sure it must annoy people.


All that being said, I think I am doing an amazing job as a single, working, teenage mom who is also a full-time student. I know that people look at H. and say how funny and happy he is, how independent and smart, but I know I could be a better mommy for him... and I'm trying.