I just wanna sleep!

I live in Canada, the land of eternal colds, the Rockies, and Daylight Savings Time... Two of which suck, and one is very beautiful... I'll give you a minute to guess which is which.

Time's up! Daylight Savings Time and colds are the winners of the Sucky Part of Canada Prize.

So, at this moment, H. and I are suffering from both. He's had a cold for a few days now, and we're just getting over it, but he's still tired and not eating and sleeping well... which means I'm not sleeping well either.

Lately he's been waking up 2-6 times a night, inconsolable because he can't breathe. Which means I'm waking up 2-6 times a night to try and help him breath. Not fun!

We were just getting over that, when we put the clocks back... so just as I was getting used to H. waking up at 6 instead of 7, he is waking up at 5 instead of 6. Again, not fun!

So, today was kind of a weird day for us. Because of the time shift, he napped early, on our way to church, and then again on the way to visit my sister and niece. So, in total, an hour and a half, split up. He was all sorts of grumpy when we got home around 5, old time 6pm.

So then it was his usual bedtime, and we were just sitting down to eat. He ate maybe a tiny few bites of bread, and that's it before he absolutely lost it. So, he went in the bath for a good 20 minutes and then it was 6:30, but in his time, half an hour past his bedtime.

Thankfully, he went to sleep after drinking about 6oz of a bottle, and has only woken up once in 2 hours. Maybe tomorrow he will be more accustomed to the time shift, and feelig better enough that he will nap and eat nicely, and maybe have a good nights' sleep tonight!

Most likely, just wishful thinking!

I really lied...

Apparently August 6th to November 5th is an acceptable break from the blogging machine... sorry about that!

While we're on the subject, I will be more regimented (I promise this time) because, thanks to a good friend, I now have a computer at home! No more trekking to the library and back to record H.'s milestones... of which there have been a lot, so let's get to that!

4 months ago, H. was just getting good at sitting on his own... how that has changed! He's crawling. A lot. And climbing stairs. A lot. I'm busy. He's a curious little boy, so naturally he wants to see (and taste) everything. I sometimes wish he would sit still, so if I went to the bathroom or something, he would still be in the same spot... I would even be happy with same level of the house! But I love that he moves now. We chase each other around the house, which is a blast, to hear his little giggles follow me and try and catch me!

We are now up to 6 teeth... and more on the way, I suspect, as a certain little guy has been an absolute bear in a box lately. But it's alright, he's only half as fussy as other babies.

In other Bear news, he super crawls. For a while he did a sort of army commando crawl, sliding around on his belly and pulling himself with his elbows. Which he thankfully grew out of... now only his pants get super dirty, not his whole outfit!

Also, he's almost a whole year old! 3 weeks shy of his first birthday, and I can't imagine that he was once the little boy that was so small he could fit inside me! (although, looking at me now, it's not such a stretch of the imagination...)

Also, I happen to be a brand new aunt! My sister gave birth a few days ago to a beautiful little girl, K.! She was huge (literally, half as big as H. at 11.5 months). I have a cold, so I haven't been able to meet her yet (H. has) but I have seen pictures and she is adorable!!

And I have been working very hard on my personal life... for starters, I have a job I love so much, and I think I do pretty well. I try and work hard, and I love my co-workers and boss, and I love the job itself, and the people I get to help (sometimes...).

Also, I have made the choice to go back to school. I start in 5 weeks. I'll be in class every day for 4 hours, for 11 months, while working as much as I can... it will be hard, and I will be busy, but lately I have been thinking about the future, and I knew this was a choice I was ready to make, and something I needed to do, for me, but more importantly, for H.

And speaking of the future, and of H., it would appear H. and I have a new man in our life. Enter Phil. He is smart and funny, and we have things in common, as well as things that set us apart from each other. We have known each other for YEARS! Literally, like 10. We went to the same high school, attended the same Sea Cadet corps, and he is best friends with my sister/roommates' boyfriend. He makes me happy. And he says I make him happy (I believe him). But, most importantly, he is amazing with H., and I can tell he loves him. I was worried when we first started dating that I would have to choose between H. and a suitor (which would have ended poorly for the suitor), but with Phil it's totally not like that. He understands we're a package deal, baggage and all, and he is great with the situation. He honestly loves me, and I really love him (and now I can't even take it back, because it's now all over the blogosphere). And we're happy, my small little crazy family!

I think that's all for now... and if not, I'll be back later... today, I mean, not this year LOL.

ok, I lied...

Apparently I wasn't going to be more regular in my posts.

But, I will make it up, I promise!

The first big thing that happened was my little boy turned into a hippopotamus! Meaning, he got his first 2(!!) teeth... in the same day, in about 3 hours. Seriously. My mom picked him up from me at work at about 1pm, and I got a text from her at 4 saying he had cut his 2 teeth. So, I'm glad I missed it, but she said he wasn't too bad for her. But by 6pm, he hadn't napped all day, and I got to deal with that.

And I left the job I was working at to go back to my old job I had way before H. was born. I love it. It's busy, and makes me feel like I am actually useful, and I don't work alone, so I get even more people to talk to... so, all around a better situation.

And no other real news to report... H. is just growing and learning at such a fast pace... every day he must learn something new. Like, he now knows how to sit up really well (we still have some unbalanced falls... he just got a bruise on his cheek a few days ago) and is learning the pincer grip, so he can eat rice crackers and toast and pick up pieces of food, and he can even chew them! He is just getting to be such a funny little guy, I can already tell he's going to have a great sense of humour!

But that's all I have for now! I promise I will be more regimented in my blogging, but don't hate me if I'm not!

Holy Crap!

Could I have taken any longer to write a new post?!?!?!

Sorry about that, but it's a long story... so, I broke my computer, so to go on the good ol' interweb I have had to go to the library... which actually isn't that bad, I love the library, except days like today where there must be like 4 different daycamps here, and a million screaming kids!... but that's besides the point.

Speaking on screaming kids in the library, mine isn't one of them! He's happy just to chew on my library card and watch all the other kids embarrass their parents... I love my little boy!

Speaking of H., he's growing so fast! Not growing so much as learning, and figuring out things (at his 6 month check up a few weeks ago he was 15.5lbs, and 27.75 inches long, putting him in the 10th percentile for weight and the 95th for height!)... he is experimenting with crawling, has all but mastered rolling over, both ways, and has moved on to banging things on other things to make all sorts of noises!

On my birthday a few days ago, he crawled! He was a week shy of 7 months and was wiggling on my bed while we had a morning snuggle, and got up on his hands and knees, and shimmyed a good 6inches forward! Since then, he's only gone backwards, but it's another step forwars!

As for work... well, it's not really work... more getting out of the house and talking to other moms (and sometimes grandmas) about my little guy, what works for us and what doesn't, and getting to see cute little(r) babies! I love it! At the end of the day I'm missing H., but I know he's always happy to see me!

So, nothing too new on this front, given the long wait, but I promise to be more regular in my posts!

Bad Moments...

So, the other day, I had an "I'm a bad mom" moment...

I didn't breastfeed. Well, I did. I tried. For weeks! And when that wasn't working and H. was losing too much weight, I pumped. And when that stopped being a viable option for feeding my son, I switched to formula.

I figured, with the stress of a newborn, and being a young, single mother, I couldn't deal with the stress of breastfeeding issues. And I wanted my son to be healthy. And now he is, but at times, especially when I'm talking to a mom who is still breastfeeding, I get some pangs of regret and I wish I had tried harder... but in hindsight, about 90% percent of the time, I feel like I made the right decision.

I wanted what every other mom wanted... a strong, healthy baby. And now H. is just that!

It wasn't an "I did something wrong" moment, more of an "I stopped doing something right for good reasons, but still regret it sometimes" moment.

I hope I'm not the only ones who get these...

Nothing New

Yup, nothing new... oh, except for MY NEW JOB!

So, I love working at baby boutiques, the ones thatsell cloth diapers and slings and carriers! Love them! The other day I was browsing the website of one, and decided to send in my resume and see if they were hiring... well, they were.

I had an interwiew on Friday morning, and thelady interviewing me (my new boss!) said she'd let me know, whether I got it or not, by theend of the weekend.

Well, Saturday night, I happened to have my email open, and one from her popped up. I wasn't feeling overly confident, but lo and behold, I got it!

I have to go to a baby wearing and cloth diaper workshop (my two favourite things!) just to get myself familiarized with all the products that they carry.

For now, it's part-time, but in the next few months 2 ladies are leaving for mat. leave, so then I'll have full-time. Which is good... it gives me time to learn things without being overwhelmed for 40 hours a week, and it also gives H. and I time to get used to being away from each other.

Speaking of H., my mom will watch him, until I can find something else!

But man, am I excited!

Tough Decisions

Yesterday was my moms birthday, and as I mentioned, we were having a dinner for her with all my siblings. This means I got to see my sister, who recently found out she was expecting, so I could chat with her about mommyhood (my favourite subject!).

Last week she had her IPS testing (outlined here) done, and we were talking about it. When I was offered it, I refused, and actually switched doctors because the one I was seeing was very adamant that he could not give me proper care without having it done.

My sister said if the tests came back with a 1 in 1 chance her baby would have Downs Syndrome, or any other genetic disorder, she would abort, claiming it would change her life too much (can you tell she's a first time parent?). I didn't want to be faced with that decision. I'm not judging her, or anyone, it is their choice... I just felt for me, being in one of the low-risk groups (young, healthy, no history of such in my family) and knowing that my life would change drastically after delivery anyways, opted not to do it... and I find myself explaining my choice more and more... for test thats optional, not demanded, more and more low-risk women are having it done. I'm not judging, but I just find it fascinating.

Knowing I'm pretty easy-going and can roll with the punches, I was sure I would be able to handle (as well as any other parent) a high-needs child. Knowing I was very low-risk, and having an intuition that everything was ok, I really dug in my heels and refused that test.

It makes me wonder about all the choices women have to make when they are expecting, finding out terrible news, and having to decide how to proceed, or if to do so. The toughness of pregnancy goes beyond the changing body and goes way into the change in mindset.

When you look at it, pregnancy is way more challenging than it seems.